Summer summer song

This is one of those, "and then some" posts. My online friend and fellow blogger, Seth Window, requested that I write a parody for the crap weather we have had this summer. I chose the Grammy winning (or not) hit (or not) song Summer Girls by LFO. Phyllis would scrunch her face if she heard this. Anyway, play the video and read along.

Yeah...I like it when the black top is dry.. In the summer
Do you remember, Do you remember?
...when we got wet..That summer??

[Chorus:]
Perez Hilton finally got hit
Swine flu makes me sick.
And I think it's wet when it rains for the summer, for the summer
I’m tired of umbrellas and rain boots that look slick
I'd take less rain if I had one wish
Now the sun is starting to shine this summer
This summer

[Verse 1:]
Glen Beck thinks Obama’s in the klan,
Cher’s daughter is becoming a man
You're the worst weather that I ever did see,
If one more Jackson dies, it will be the Jackson 3
When you check the forecast all you want to do is swear
Britney Spears is now wearing her underwear
Call me a meteorologist cause I only say it rains
Sarah Palin probably has a kid named Train
Now the sun is shining and it makes me glad
The rain left one day and never came back
Stayed through August then went back to the clouds
Farrah Fawcett took her last bow
Jessica Simpson wore tight pants
Brad Cooper and Jen Aniston had a short romance
When I met you, it was all precipitation
You made the rain go on a vacation

[Chorus:]
Perez Hilton finally got hit
Swine flu makes me sick.
And I think it's wet when it rains for the summer, for the summer
I’m tired of umbrellas and rain boots that look slick
I'd take less rain if I had one wish
Now the sun is starting to shine this summer
This summer

[Verse 2:]
Transformers 2, The Hangover, Harry Potter in 3D
Bruno showed Eminem his thong wedgie,
The temperature is climbing past the cold
Cronkite tributes will never get old
Love that the sun is out and the rain isn’t falling
Hope that Rihanna and Chris Brown don’t start brawling

They went to court and he didn’t go to jail

Double Mint probably paid his bail
Going to the beach is so much better

When the sun is shining and we have good weather
There was a good man named Ed McMahon
Star Search, I was your number one fan

You love blue skies and flip flops
Henry Louis Gates isn’t a fan of the cops
When I met you it was all precipitation
You made the rain go on a vacation

[Repeat Chorus]

Perez Hilton finally got hit
Swine flu makes me sick.
And I think it's wet when it rains for the summer, for the summer
I’m tired of umbrellas and rain boots that look slick
I'd take less rain if I had one wish
Now the sun is starting to shine this summer
This summer

[Bridge:]
In the summertime the rain wouldn’t stop,
Katie Holmes thought she could dance to the top
Summertime weather is the kind I like,
Facebook should add an option that says don’t like

[Verse 3]
Celebs on twitter and Conan on Tonight
Twilight readers hoping for a Cullen bite
The legend continues, rest in peace Dave Carradine

Thinking about the rain and I hope for sunshine
Like drinking outside and wearing shorts

Hope Brad and Jane change their mind about divorce
Watch the forecast, but what’s the use
I like US Weekly, but I hate the news
TLC has Jon and Kate, anything Ed Hardy I really hate
When I met you it was all precipitation

You made the rain go on a vacation

[Repeat Chorus]
Perez Hilton finally got hit
Swine flu makes me sick.
And I think it's wet when it rains for the summer, for the summer
I’m tired of umbrellas and rain boots that look slick
I'd take less rain if I had one wish
Now the sun is starting to shine this summer
This summer

[Bridge:]

In the summer rain comes and makes us sad
Once the sun comes out it makes us glad,
Summer rain comes and makes us sad
Once the sun comes out it makes us glad
In the summertime the rain wouldn’t stop,
Katie Holmes thought she could dance to the top
Summertime weather is the kind I like,
Facebook should add an option that says don’t like

[Repeat Chorus]

Perez Hilton finally got hit
Swine flu makes me sick
And I think it's wet when it rains for the summer, for the summer
I’m tired of umbrellas and rain boots that look slick
I'd take less rain if I had one wish

Now the sun is starting to shine this summer
This summer

Nana and Skitt Les

Just got off the phone with Gram. My mother spent some time at her house today going through a bag of pictures. Phyllis told me there were so so many of my sister and my parents and my brother. "There weren't that many of you though." Why thanks. I asked if it was because I wasn't loved as much and she, of course, backtracked and told me there were plenty of me. She said there were some of me at the ocean with my "other grandmother there, you know, your father's mother that died." I said, "Nana?" She replied, "Yes, that's what you called her." Phyllis loved Nana. They used to write letters to each other.

Gram then asked me how my weight was. I told her it was fine. She informed me that she didn't want to be a "hoosier" as she was 15 years ago at a party. I think the weight topic came up because a short, skinny man gave her a ride to the doctor's. She noticed the Skittles in his car and said, "How the heck do you stay so skinny eating candy and Skitt Les all the time?" I inserted that space in Skittles because that's how she pronounced the word. He told her he ran five miles every day. She said, "Sure."


Phyllis ended the conversation by telling me she was going to try and watch TV.

"Love you, dear. Bye now."

stood up by Phyllis and guys without shirts

I was supposed to have a date with Gram on Monday, but she informed me that she was too busy. When I first called her I could tell she was unsure of who it was. She said, "Kathy?" Kathy is my mother. I said, "Do you know who this is?" She replied, "Phyllis." She did so with such conviction, which is a good sign. At least she knows her name.

In other news, I was with my friend this weekend and we drove by my ex's house. I should explain that Kerry's mother lives close to my ex. We weren't stalking. Of course, he was mowing the lawn, sans shirt. Kerry told me to keep my bra on. I did. Today, I almost fell on the sidewalk because a guy came running toward me without his shirt. It's distracting. I am an awkward enough person as it is, I don't need to see nipples on my lunch break walk.

That's all for now. Honey Bunch out.

Leave it to her.

Gram finally called me back. I called her earlier and she asked if I could hold a minute as she was on her way to the bathroom. I told her to call me back instead. An hour and a half later she returned my call. She said it took her so long because she shut all the shades in her house.

She asked how that friend of mine, Karen, is doing. Karen is my cousin on my father's side. I told her she was doing well and that she was visiting Los Angeles soon. Phyllis said, "Leave it to her." I am not quite sure what she meant by that.

Gram asked, "When ya comin' home again, honey bunch?" She asks me this most conversations. I don't think it's old age that makes her forget. I think she just doesn't listen when I call her. She also tells me every single time that I call her that she was just going to call me. That is complete baloney as Gram would say. Something tells me that she was not about to pick up her phone, only to find me on the other end. More than likely she was eating the ice cream that my aunt stores in her freezer.

A family name and gran crackers

I called Gram to remind her to make that hair appointment and to thank her for the note. I told her that I didn't know County Mayo was the location of the potato famine. She told me she has all of this information written on a legal pad. She then informed me that, Kathryn, "your mother's name," (as if I didn't know) was a big family for us. However, she threatened to name my mother Phyllis.

I babysat my niece and nephew tonight and I told them graham crackers were GG's (short for great grandmother) most favorite thing. My nephew said, "Why aren't we her most favorite thing?" When I repeated this to Phyllis, she said, "Well, I don't know what their favorite food is, but I doubt it's graham crackers. They're so slim." She also said that she is really trying to limit the graham crackers. I should mention that she pronounces graham as gran.

Before I could get another word in, Phyllis told me she had to go so she could turn her television down from 900 before she went to bed. "Take care, dear."

War Themes and The Irish Hour

I received a letter from Phyllis today. If I knew how to scan the letter, I would do that. Instead, I will just retype what Phyllis had to say. In regards to the small debt she was paying, ($12) that was for her dinner at Boston Market that she refused to allow me to pay. Below is her letter in the exact format in which it was sent.

Hi Meredith,

Enclosed please find small check to pay debt. Weather warm. Lunch filling. Macaroni & cheese, diet jello, milk, tomatoes & peas. Lunch was good though.

Sat 7-12-09

Just listened to the Irish Hour. Nothing spectacular. They can’t end with any fast war themes. They have to be choosy. Today a fast song from County Mayo. My mother’s people came from Mayo. That’s where the Potato famine was. Take care.

Love,
Gram

Global warning sucks

Talking to Gram right now. Again, no teeth. She wants to know when I am coming to visit next. She proceeds to tell me she's homebound. Except for when she gets her hair done. I can take hints. She will be calling her hairdresser tomorrow to schedule her appointment. Phyllis told me that I can do "whatever I want" while she gets her hair done. I am sure I will think of a fun activity that lasts eight minutes.

Gram just asked if I had any new flames. It would be "nice" according to her. She then explained what a flame was, you know, a boyfriend.

After the lesson in flames, Gram asked how the weather was. She said she only hears about it, as she is homebound. I told her it was cool and cloudy all week. She said, it must be because of "that" global warning. She then told me it was time for me to go to bed.

"Love ya Honey Bunch."