Until next time.

Hi all.  It has been a while.

This will be the final post on Phyllis.  Sorry bitches. 

Gram passed away on St. Patrick's Day and it just doesn't feel right to keep on posting here.  However, I will eventually start somethin' else and hope you will follow me there.

People have asked sista if I was planning do a final post and while I feel strange doing so, I owe it to Gram and her followers. 

I am not used to the fact that she's not here and I randomly cry at the thought.  My aunt put it best when she said she thought she'd live forever.  I did too.  

I am so very sad that she's not here to make me laugh anymore, but I am happy she's at peace.  I am also happy because she knows I will be okay.  She met the love of my life.  NO, not salsa con queso.  The bf.  She loved him.  So much so that she gave JP slobbery kisses on his neck every time she saw him.  I think she enjoyed visits from him almost as much as visits from me even if he is addicted to drugs. http://phyllisismyhero.blogspot.com/2010/11/must-love-gran-crackers.html#links

I had the honor of giving Gram's eulogy.  I hate public speaking more than slow mall walkers.  I somehow managed to get through it. I  even looked at the crowd!  That part was easy because I can't see for shit.  Anyway.  Here's to Gram:

Gram was the strongest woman I know.  She had to overcome many obstacles and hardships throughout her life.  When she was just 29 years old, her husband died and she raised three daughters on her own while working many jobs to support them.  Education was very important to Gram with each daughter going on to become successful college graduates with careers in healthcare and education.

Not only did Gram raise a family by herself in the 50’s, a time when it wasn’t typical for women to work outside the home, she was a three-time cancer survivor.   I remember her complaining if we had more French fries than her on our plates at Friendly’s, but never once about treatments or the many doctor appointments.

Gram was always there for me, for us.  Irish dancing, soccer games, basketball games, graduations, spelling bees, first day of school, last day of school, fifth day of school.  Every day.  She was there for us.  My dad liked to joke that she would drop off a pencil just so she could see us.  She loved her family more than anything and we all loved her.

My favorite thing about Gram was her sense of humor.  She made me laugh more than anyone.  There are too many stories to tell, but I will touch on the memories that stick out in my mind.

Her love of driving.

Trips to the Base.

Her gourmet goulash.  The cooking channel is still asking for the recipe. Tomato soup, browned beef and macaroni elbows.

Her love of gran crackers and steadfast denial of her addiction.  I always told her I’d be her sponsor.

Sleepovers at her house with my sister and her bed slats breaking.  And her belly laughter and teeth falling out.

Her Irish pride.  I would go to her house to pick her up for a breakfast date and the house would be shaking.  The Irish Hour was on.

Death is so final and the thought that Gram isn’t here anymore is overwhelming.  It is so hard to believe that I won’t walk into her room and hear her ask “Got any candy?”  Love however, isn’t final.  Our love for Gram will live on.  I think of how hard it is for all of us that she’s no longer here and wonder how we’ll survive. Then I think, Phyllis would survive this and I know that she instilled some of that strength in all of us so that we can make it. She had such a devout faith and it’s her faith that helps me know I will see her again.  I think that when my time is about to come she will be waiting in heaven with a gran cracker in hand watching a Red Sox game.  She will say, “It’s time to come home honey bunch.”

I’m very sad that Gram never made it to Ireland, the home of her favorite patron saint.  I think I speak for the family, when I say it brings us all great comfort that she held on for thirteen days and passed on St. Patrick’s Day.  We like to think Tom was in a Cadillac, a car Gram always wanted with a full tank of gas waiting to embark on their new adventure together.

 

May the road rise to meet you,
May the wind be always at your back,
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
The rains fall soft upon your fields and,
Until we meet again,
May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

I love you Gram.  Bye now.

Sheeeet my fam says

Oh Kath.

Sista sent me a text last week:

To add to this story, Kath has a bedazzled pair of sunglasses.  When I first saw them I said, "Where the hell did you get those?"  She told me she ordered them.  "On purpose?"  I asked.  "I swear I did not choose them.  They must have given me the wrong ones." she replied.  Kath has lost all credibility with her latest order.

It's so embarrassing to go out in public with her when it's sunny.

Anyway.  Because I am the wise ass that I am, I called Kath after reading Meaghan's text.


"MOM!  I am so annoyed." I said.
"Why honey?" she asked.
"I ordered a brown shirt last week and when I opened it the shirt was purple."  I said.
"Hmmph.  Let me tell you my story.  I just ordered a pair of glasses and THEY WERE brown---OH you are such an ass!"


I think she's part to blame for my being such an ass.  And good looking.

I kid!

I think Sista is taking after Kath a bit.  The other day she was playing with her new iPhone.  I was the lucky caller on the other end while she toyed around. 

"What happens when you plug the headphones in?" she asked.
"I dunno." I replied.
"OK.  Hold on.  I am plugging them in.  Tell me if you can hear me. Hello?" she said.
"I can hear you." I said.
"Cool!  It's like BlackTooth."

Like mother, like daughter.

Not much else is going on.  The big move went well.  The bf has come to love my childhood stuffed bear (he obviously lives with us).  I told the bf that he is Herbie's father.  When I told Kath this she said I should see a psychiatrist.  The bf LOVES when he finds Herbie all dressed up in his clothes. 

Like father, like son.


That's all for now.  Enjoy the weekend.  I'll tell Phyllis ya'll said hello.

CATS

I hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving.  And Halloween.  I just checked and saw that I haven't posted since October 26th.  Lo siento.  

Here we go.

Kath emailed me today.  Subject was: "? what is name of JP's company".  The body read: 

>Is it CATS? let me know.  Love you Mom

Yes, Kath.  He owns CATS. Actually, just one cat.  Indy.  My little prince.  I haven't a clue how she got CATS from FITNESS TOGETHER.  I will call her after I finish this post and make fun.

Kath called me on Saturday from Gram's room.  I chatted with Phyllis for a few then my mother took the phone to relay the conversation she and Gram had just had.  Gram said to Kath, "Now, you forgot to remind about that thing I told you to remind me about."  Kath said, "Well, what was I supposed to remind you?"  Gram replied, "I can't remember!"  The two of them then burst out laughing.  

Lots has been going on lately.  I am moving this weekend to the North End.  (I should be packing right now.)  My new roommate is the (lucky!) bf.  He's very excited.  I know he can't wait to make us dinner then cuddle up and watch Gossip Girl and 90210 with me.  He loved the Real Housewives of South Boston so I bet he will like the RH's of NYC, Beverly Hills, Orange County and New Jersey.  I think we'll get along just fine but I am worried about my DVR space.  He made a face when I told him I was bringing Herbie.  Herbie will have to stay in the closet.  Sad.  I hope he doesn't get lonely in there.  Maybe I will get him a friend.  We have a small outdoor area where we can grill so I think I am expected to learn how to grill.  This is fine, but Meggie should remind him of the time she asked me to brush (?) her grill.  I didn't last long and she took over.  The bf told me I "just need to turn it on and light it."  That's easy for him to say.  He has both eyebrows.  

Oh, and I am not allowed to have more than four pillows on the bed.  This includes shams.  Ridiculous is right. As I always say to Phyllis, men!  Wish me luck. 

I haven't started Christmas shopping.  Surprise, surprise.  Every year Kath and the sista overbuy so I wait until they start offering to sell me their goods. Last year if you recall I gave the bf golf shoes.  Kath always likes to remind me of this.  She can't tease me this year.  I had a pilot connection and I gave the bf a flight for his present.  He flew a plane with the most precious of cargo in it to the Cape and back.  He had help of course.  He even landed the beast.  He said it was the best present he has ever gotten.  I don't know how I will one-up myself next year.  Suggestions welcome.

Sorry bitches.  This post was a quick one, but I have got to get my pack on.  And call Kath. Watch this video.  It made me laugh. 

I hope everyone has a wonderful holiday.  Happy birthday, Jesa!

 

"Don't shake your baby."

You know it is time to update your blog when Phyllis asks why you haven't posted lately.  That is not true, but wouldn't that be somethin'?  I was talking to CF the other night and she asked if I had written lately.  I told her I hadn't, I was in a funk, but knew I needed to.  I told her how the bf's sista sent me a link to a blog she stumbled upon and told me how she laughed and cried while reading it, much like she used to when she read mine.  CF said, "If that's not incentive for you to write, I don't know what is."

I'm back?

Lots has happened in a month.  The main event, however, was my boys, (sista friend may have carried/delivered/fed/raised them, but I still consider them half mine) turned four-years-old last week.  Meaghan threw a pirate party for them.  Here are some pictures of the things she did:

She hired Johnny Depp to reprise his role as Captain Jack Sparrow.

She made this ridiculous cake.

I made this one.

And she made these pirate themed/winter wonderland cookies.  I don't have any photos of the pirate ice cubes.

When Bill Lang arrived, I pointed out sista's pirate creative genius and said, "My kid's birthday party will probably be in the back of an alley."  He laughed.  I should check Pinterest now for ideas.

A pirate party wouldn't be a party without alcohol.  My cousin and I started drinking around 1:00.  I was going to wait until 3:00, but I told her I didn't want her to drink alone. Such a sacrifice.  The bf probably started around 2 or 3, I am not sure.  He was with his new boyfriend, my cousin's husband, talking car porn.

Throughout all of the partying, the bf and I had to make sure to see Gram.  Angela, my blog publicist was planning to stop at the party.  I was waiting for her so she could finally meet the bf, then the plan was to go see Gram.  Angela arrived and we told her who we were going to visit.  She asked if she could come as well(!).  Kath offered to drive the bf and I over so she could visit too.  With a designated driver, the bf and I could keep our drink on and bring some booze to Rehab.  (It is exhausting to stop drinking then start up again.)  Angela met us there.  We went down to Gram's room and a nurse was giving her a manicure.  Her new roommate, Lillian, had just gotten one.  I introduced Gram to Angela and Gram politely said "Hello" and smiled.  When Angela was a few feet away, Gram looked up at me and said, "WHO is that?"  I told her it was one of Meaghan's best friends.  She was fine with that. This reminds me of the time Kath, Meaghan and I went to visit Gram when she was still at home and CF came with us as well.  About 15 minutes into the visit, Gram needed her pills. CF offered to go get them from the kitchen.  The moment she left the room, Gram looked at the three of us and said, "WHO the hell is she?"  We all laughed.  She hadn't seen CF in years.  Once we explained she was Liane and John's daughter, all was well.  She loves Liane.  (And John.)  Anyway. I fed Gram her dinner while her nails dried.  When she finished she said, "I want an orange thing!"  I wasn't sure what she meant, but I knew it had to be some type of candy.  Then I realized she wanted one of those god awful circus peanuts.

I am obsessed with Pinterest.  I did a search for circus peanuts and found a recipe for circus peanut gelatin.  Woof. 
Still obsessed.

Gram had only one circus peanut left, such a shame, but had a bag of Hershey Kisses.  Per her usual, she ordered me to give one to everyone in the room.  Including her new friend Angela.  She also told me to give one to Lillian.  I like Lill.  She swears and Gram actually talks to her.  Ohmygod.  I just realized that Phyll and Lill are roommates.

Other quick tidbits.  Eyebrow.  It is still growing back.  I can't help but color it in daily.  Full eyebrows are SO fun.  The bf said sometimes I draw it on too high. Then he laughed.  What a prince.  What else. I am waiting for my iPhone 4s.  Arrives today. I can't wait to make Siri my little bitch.  "Siri, write my blog." Ooh. Kath gave me some STELLAR advice last week while chatting on the phone. "Meredith.  Don't shake your baby."



I think I will end on those words of wisdom.

Until 2012.  (Kidding.)

-baby shaka

"O-B-S-O-L-V-E."

I have three different numbers to call to get a hold of Phyllis.  Of those three, one is a line for the residents that the residents will answer if they are sitting by the phone.  Recently, I tried one of the numbers and kept getting transferred to a line that no one answered.  I tried another number.  "Hello!"  Right away I knew it wasn't an employee, but asked if it was D-Wing just to be sure.  "Hello!"  The woman replied.  I knew who it was.  "Is this Phyllis?"  I asked. "Yeah!  It's Phyllis!" she replied. I said, "But, you're not my grandmother."  She said, "It's Phyllis!  The black one!"  I was glad she clarified.  I said, "Hi Phyllis!  We've met before, I brought that tall guy with me once!"  Black Phyllis must have pictured "that giant" in her head."You want Fitzgerald!"  she said.  "Yes!"  I replied.  Gram was on the phone moments later.  Unfortunately, it was relayed to white Phyllis that Mary was on the phone.  "MARY.  ARE YOU AT THE CAPE?" I told her it was Meredith.  "ARE YOU AT THE CAPE?" she asked again.  "NO.  THIS IS MEREDITH."  This went on for several minutes.  In the end I told her to call her granddaughter, Meredith.  I won't wait by the phone.

Since that conversation, I have seen Phyllis twice.  Two weekends ago, the bf and I paid her a visit and brought her some lunch and cookies.  She was thrilled to see us and smiled much of the time.  After she scarfed down the first cookie she informed me that she doesn't like sweets as much as she used to enjoy them.  That is like me saying, "I am not good at spelling."  Speaking of.  I have got to get my hands on the video of me in second grade when I was in the Springfield city-wide spelling bee.  I was the youngest participant at the age of six and the event was shown live on public television.  This experience is likely why I hate being in front of crowds.  I feel like I just had a personal therapy session.  It is why I hate being in front of crowds.  I was wearing (large) flower covered culottes.  Kath was never good at doing our hair or dressing us so I had a puffy, (and bumpy I'm sure) half ponytail hairdo.  Anyway.  It was my turn.  I remember being nervous and not wanting to go, but I got up and walked to the microphone.  "Hi, mah name is Meredith Lang from Lincoln Schoo and I am in the second grade." Yes. I spoke with a southern accent.  The woman gave me my word (absolve), but she pronounced it "obsolve".  I spelled it the way I heard it.  "Obsolve. O-B-S-O-L-V-E. Obsolve." The buzzer rang and I was fine with it because I was terrified of the audience. The audience went, "Awww" in unison because they thought I was so so cute.  That's what I surmised anyway.

The story doesn't end there.  My spelling mentor, Miss Halpin, was in a rage at the incorrect pronunciation of absolve.  I was sitting with my family in the audience when I saw her bust her way to the judge's table.  I remember thinking, "WTF is she doing?"  Moments later, my name was being called for me to go back on stage.  I sunk into my seat wanting to cry.  My parents told me I had to go back to the stage.  Back I went.  "Awww" went the audience.  Assholes.  My culottes weren't that adorable.  I blocked the rest out.  I don't remember what word they gave me, but I know I didn't spell it correctly.  Probably on purpose.  Sorry, Miss Halpin.

My culottes resemble the below, but I wasn't wearing a see through top (or a bra), it was a one-piece culottes outfit with big shoulder pads.

What else.  I haven't posted since August.  Shocking.  In that time, I have climbed a mountain.  The bf, his sista and I hiked Franconia Ridge.  We enjoyed.  I hiked some years ago and found this to be a little easier.  Mainly because I was not hung over.  Over the weekend, I participated in Rugged Maniac with my friends.  It was fun, but disgusting.  There was one obstacle where I am convinced we walked through sewage. During another, my hair got stuck on barbed wire.  Luckily it wasn't my eyebrow.   I ended up with a small shiner on my cheekbone after another obstacle.  I told my friends, "At least I know how I got this one!" When I saw Phyllis yesterday I told her the bf punched me.  "Why'd he do that?" she asked.  "Because I was out of line." I sighed.  She just nodded and said, "Ohhh."  Based on the fibs I have told her, she thinks he's a drug addict and a gf beater.  She couldn't like him more.

That's about it. I have to go iron now, a chore I hate and think is for the birds.

Until next time.