3Some Sex Squad

I knew that title would grab your attention.  I received a text from Bichard yesterday.  When he went to his grandmother's house, this was the title of the movie on her television.  I am glad Gram watches baseball and westerns.  If she watched porn, that would make me uncomfortable.  I can only imagine what she would say, "Too much humpin!"  Or something like that.

Gram and I got our fill of each other last week.  Thanksgiving and my birthday.  Thanksgiving was good.  I was sick and hung over, but still managed to enjoy myself.  After eating, we all retired in my sister's family room to watch tv and look through the Black Friday ads.  Gram became restless and decided to help clean up.  Here's a picture of her loading items on her walker.

I was resting on the couch when Gram yelled to me from the kitchen.  "MEREDITH!  I KNOW YOU'RE TIRED, BUT COME HERE!"  I wish Gram could respect my hangovers more.  I got up and she proceeded to point out all of the small items on the floor.  The "small items" were mainly paraphernalia  from our holiday poppers.  My family wears paper crowns on holidays.  I bet Richard Simmons and Webbie Debbie do too.  She pointed to some mashed potatoes near the oven.  I told her it would be mopped up.  She said, "I understand if you don't want to pick it up.  That's fine.  Someone might just slip and fall and hurt their scalp."  As I picked the potatoes up I thought to myself that she was watching too many westerns if the scalp was her choice body part for being injured.

After I picked up the floor, I made ourselves some tea and Gram ate three of my sister's pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.  She told me she was worried she wouldn't be able to take any home.  At one point she pulled me aside and told me someone was taking all of the cookies.  She thought a bag of biscuits were her beloved pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.  I gave her most of the cookies.  Mainly out of selfishness because I thought they were disgusting. Sorry Meaghan.

The rest of Thanksgiving was uneventful.  We made plans with Gram to go to lunch for my birthday on Saturday.  Saturday came and I was still sick and napping at my sister's when the phone rang.  It was Gram.  I screamed, "DON'T ANSWER!"  I knew she would sing.  Here is this year's version on video.  (One of them.)



Each year she sounds different.  But, she always sings, "Love, Gram(mmm)"  I called Gram back and she told me she would like to sing for me.  I will post that video next time.  (My sister has the video on her computer.) After being serenaded twice by Phyllis, Meaghan and I met Gram and my mother at Leone's for lunch.  Gram bought me an alarm clock.  I decided I needed one after leaving my phone and iPod Touch at work.  I came home a tad drunk and realized I didn't have an alarm clock.  By the grace of someone, I woke up on time for work.  She also gave me two cards.  Clearly, I am the favorite grandchild.  Mom gave me some luggage and Twilight on DVD.  Big mistake.  I will never leave the house. 

Throughout the day, I took seven or eight doses of Dayquil (obviously safe) in order to get my party on at my birthday at the casino.  I had never been and Meggie planned quite the fiesta for me.  I had a wonderful time, but I forgot to take my Zantac.  That resulted in super blotch.  I walked up to Chris and said, "Chris, the blotches are bad."  He said, "No they're not."  I then pulled open my sweater revealing my neck.  He said, "Whoaaa," and backed away slowly.   I Googled my disorder again and found another nickname for it.  Big Blush.  I look forward to that being my nickname for life.  One of many.  With that said, thank you, Meggie for making my birthday so wonderful!

Maidzilla and Bridezilla.  Before Big Blush set in.