Nothing expensive

I went to the Celtics game yesterday with my tall Egyptian friend Richard.  He knows all about Phyllis and her antics, so we decided to call her and see what she was doing.  "Hi Gram," I yelled.  "HI HONEY BUNCH," she screamed.  " I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU."  We all know that wasn't true.  I told her I was at the basketball game with an Egyptian.  She said, "Yeah. I like baseball."  She then told me she was looking forward to seeing me on Saturday.  "CAN YOU BUY ME SOME DIAPERS FOR THE TWINS BIRTHDAY?"  I told her I would.  "Nothing expensive," she advised.  She told me again that she liked baseball.  She said some other stuff too, but Richard and I were both laughing after drinking a few beers and now I cannot remember what she was saying. I should mention Richard's grandmother and Phyllis would be great friends. His grandmother once wrote a check to him and spelled his name Bichard.  She also thought a mouse was harassing her in her sleep.  Turns out it was a squirrel.

Since I couldn't recall the entire conversation I had with Phyllis yesterday, I called her tonight.  "I'm watching baseball, are you?"  I told her no, I did not watch unless it was the Red Sox. "The Phillies are playing the Rockies!  The Phillies are winning TWO TO ONE."  She told me this four times.  Then she went on to say, "OH! I FORGOT TO TELL YOU!  BUY ME TWO CARDS FOR THE BOYS!"  Again she said, "nothing expensive."  I said I would do that for her.  She seemed pleased.  After this exchange, she asked when I was coming home.  I told her I would be home Saturday.  "THAT'LL BE GOOD!"  She told me a nurse was hired to help her two hours each day.  My mom told me last week on the nurse's first day she asked Gram what she could do to help her.  "You can grab a broom and sweep my ramp.  Then you can sweep my driveway."  Someone had to explain to Gram that the nurse was not her maid.  My guess is she wasn't pleased.

Gram told me that the weather was going to be awful tomorrow.  She then asked how I liked living "down there."  I told her that I loved living in Boston.  She said she was so happy for me.  She "really was."  I asked what she was wearing to the boys birthday party. "I don't know.  It depends on the weather."  She said it was so nice to hear from me and that she was looking forward to seeing me Saturday.  I said, "you must miss me."  She replied, "yeah. It was nice talking to you honey bunch.  Love ya."