I typed Gram a letter last week because I knew it would cheer her up. I told my friend Chris and he asked if was 445 pages long in a size 80 font. I kept it short. See below. (This is the body of the letter. The actual letter I sent included a picture and was on blue paper.)
I called Gram Saturday morning to let her know that I would pick her up at 2:00 for the boys birthday party. The first thing she said was, "Why so late? Your mother was going to pick me up at 1:30." I told her that my mother was originally going to pick her up at 2:30. "YOU'RE PICKING ME UP AT 2:30?" she screamed. I told her I would see her at two. I was looking forward to seeing her reaction to my letter. I took video of the interaction, but I was trying not to make it obvious. Phyllis gets agitated with the camera sometimes. I apologize for the Blair Witch like filming.
A few weeks ago, Phyllis bought a plant for her neighbor Eddie. I picked it out and I placed it on his front step. Eddie, if you're reading this, you might want to thank her. As she strolled down the ramp she pointed to a plant hanging near Eddie's front door, "Is that the plant we picked out for him?" I told her it was. "That son of a gun never thanked me," she said. "Or you." I told her that he didn't have my number.
We arrived at the party fashionably early. Tony, my brother-in-law, set out some cashews and peanuts on the coffee table. Gram remarked that she didn't have any cereal at her house. I wasn't sure what brought on the random statement until she asked if I was going to have any cornflakes. I told her they were peanuts. She laughed. Gram proceeded to write a check to my sister. I happened to glance at the check. This is what I found:
I think she wrote it two days ago as Gram was born in 1924. We didn't tell her of the mistake. Gram asked me what I was doing after the birthday party. I told her I had to go to another party. She rolled her eyes and said, "I will have to start calling you party girl." After the eye roll she asked me what kind of party I was attending. She answered before I could, "A strip party?" I wonder what would make Gram think I would go to a strip party. It must be my over sized sweaters and the fact that my 85-year-old grandmother is my first speed dial number. Wild.
The family was sitting around the table when my sister announced dessert was ready. I was talking to someone when Phyllis started tapping my shoulder. "Go get me some dessert. There's cake!" she said. I listened to her. I brought her dessert and I asked her what she was going to be for Halloween. "Who knows?" she said. I told her I was going to be a stripper. She raised her eyebrows. A few minutes went by. "Don't be that for Halloween," she said. I told her I was kidding. She then asked if I was going to church yet. I told her no. She replied, "There's still time."
I called Gram last night to hear her gush about what a wonderful job my sister did. "What a lovely party," she said. "I told Meaghan today just how lovely it was." (Her teeth were out.) I don't think Gram would be impressed if I threw a party. I don't cook or bake Elmo cupcakes. I drink. She asked who made the lasagna roll-ups. I told her I did. "You're kidding," she said. That was true. I asked what she was doing. "Watching the ball game," she said. She informed me that my Aunt Mary stopped by. "Mary told me they are all upchuckin' at their house. I don't need any of that." I agreed with her. I told her that I was looking forward to receiving a letter from her. She told me her typewriter was broken. "It's so nice hearing from you, honey bunch," she said. "Keep in touch."
Photo from the "strip party"
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