Golf and spiritual bouquets

I just called Gram.  I asked what she was doing today.  "Laying low," she said.  I told her I was too, and that I was dog sitting for Calvin, my brother's dog.  "That's good," she said.  I asked what she was doing.  "Watching golf," she said.  "I tried looking for a damn baseball game, but it's not on."  I told her the Yankees were playing tonight at 7:57.  She said she was looking forward to that.  "I tried calling you the other day, honey bunch, but I couldn't get through."  I asked what number she called.  "TWO ONE TWO-TWO SEVEN EIGHT."  She told me she was certain she dialed the right number.  Usually dialing six digits doesn't work, but I didn't say that to Gram.

Gram asked me how my friends were.  I told her that I had great news.  "Meggie and Kerry are both engaged."  I told her Kerry was getting married in 2011 and Meggie would be getting married in 2010.  "What church?"  she asked.  I told her I wasn't sure.  "How old are they?"  I told her Kerry was 26 and Meggie was 25. "Wow," she said.  "That's exciting. How old are you going to be?" she asked.  I said I was offended that as her favorite grandchild she didn't know my age.  "I kind of forgot, 27?"  I gasped and told her I was going to be 26 and not to get ahead of herself.  I asked her how old she was going to be.  "EIGHTY SIX."  Then I asked if she remembered the day I was born.  "Yeah."  There was no elaboration.

I told Gram that I got a flu shot on Thursday.  "I have never had a flu shot in my life.  That's the truth."  I asked her why she hadn't.  "All of my allergies. I am allergic to that penicillin."  she said.  "Are you allergic to anything?"  I was tempted to tell her that I might be allergic to alcohol due to the blotches that appear when I drink.  However, that would just give her more reason to call me "party girl".

I asked if she was keeping my letter in a frame. "Yeah," she said.  I knew she was lying.  "I am going to send you a letter, but I have to send a spiritual bouquet first."  she said. Whoever that bouquet is going to, I hope they thank her.  "Then I have to find my stamps.  I promise I will send you a letter after that." She asked when I was coming home.  I told her Halloween. "Maybe we can do something with the twins." she said.  I told her that maybe we could.  "Have a nice day." she said.  I returned the well wishes and told her that I loved her.  "I do too, honey bunch.  Bye now."