Where'd you get that giant?

I still have not found my eyebrow.  I've been penciling it in daily.  It is a task I dread.  Yesterday I had to draw it on in the gym bathroom in front of another person.  That was a blast. The bastard shows no signs of growing  back. I sometimes just part my hair all the way over to the right to try and hide it.  I wish I looked good with bangs.  I have photos of myself at the age of four with a bowl cut and bangs. I looked like the My Buddy doll.

I suppose it is better than looking like Webbie Debbie.

I finally called the dermatologist last week.  I kept getting transferred and had to tell three people the following, "Half of my eyebrow fell out.  It isn't growing back." Two of them asked me to repeat myself.  I go May 26th.  I learned that my aunt lost her entire eyebrow once.  It eventually grew back.  Now I am paranoid that the left one is thinning.  I look at old photos of myself with two full eyebrows and wish I hadn't taken them for granted.  I was at a restaurant recently and the waitress had gorgeous eyebrows.  I almost told her, but thought that might come off as creepy as I sat there with my Sharpie eyebrows.

Enough about that. 

I went home on Good Friday to see Gram.  As you all know, I don't have a car. Normally this isn't a problem, but sista, aka my driver, went to Italy. I asked Bichard if he could pick me up at the bus station that Friday afternoon and then take me to Gram's.  He said he would, even though he threatened to not show up.  I have been an ass enough times in our friendship to believe him since I would have deserved it.  Luckily, Phyllis was part of the equation so I was 70 percent sure he wouldn't leave me stranded.  He showed up. He has heard every Gram story and is one of many who has always wanted to meet Phyll.  We pulled into the parking lot and Richard said, "I don't know if I can do this.  I'm kind of nervous."  I said, "It's like meeting Gandhi." 

It was lunchtime when we walked in and Phyllis was eating with her pals Roberta and Henrietta.  Gram's other friend Phyllis (!) sat nearby.  I introduced Gram and the gals to my 6'5'' tall Egyptian friend.  She was so grateful that he drove me to visit her and told him so.  I said to Gram, "HE'S EGYPTIAN."  She said, "HE'S A GYPSY?"  After repeating myself several times, she finally understood.  "WERE YOU RAISED IN EGYPT?" she asked him.  He explained that he grew up in Wilbraham, Massachusetts, but that his dad grew up in Egypt.    I asked Henrietta if there were any activities planned for the day.  She told me they were dying eggs at 2:00.  Gram heard this, rolled her eyes and said, "Oh, great."  Richard was in stitches and told me my impressions of her were spot on.  He also told me he is going to visit her on his own.  He should.  They're both single. 

When she finished eating lunch, Gram said, "RICHARD, DO YOU WANT TO SEE MY ROOM?"  He said sure and began wheeling her out of the dining room.  As we left, Roberta beamed at us and said, "Merry Christmas!"  She is the cutest lady and turns 100 on October 23rd.  Gram told me so.  I am glad she knows her birthday. Anyway.  Gram doesn't have a roommate currently and she showed off her room and all the space she now has.  We chatted for a few, then it was time for Richard to go. Gram ordered me to give him more candy to "hold him over".  I obliged.  Richard and Phyllis said their goodbyes and after he left Gram told me he was a "very nice person."  She is 87 and does not always know what she is talking about.

After my tall friend left, Gram told me to take a nap.  This is something she says when she wants to take a nap herself.  She fell asleep in her chair and I sprawled out on her bed.  We dozed for 15 minutes.  When we awoke, we went out into the hallway and a neighbor of Gram's, an older gentleman, was milling about. Gram saw him and rolled her eyes.  He talks incessantly and doesn't make any sense.  This drives Phyllis crazy.  He passed us and said to Gram, "Are you my mother?"  Gram looked at me and said, "HE'S A PAIN IN MY ASS!"  After this, we ended up going to the activity room and dyed some eggs.  Phyllis enjoyed.  I did as well.  Kath came shortly after to pick me up and I told Gram I would be back the next morning.

Kath and I returned the following morning to visit with Phyll before I went back to Boston.  We sat with Gram in the front lobby and her friend Phyllis was sitting there as well.  Friend Phyllis told me I looked different than the prior day.  I asked if that was a good or bad thing.  She said, "Good!  But you didn't look bad yesterday!" she said.  I probably did a better job drawing my eyebrow that morning. Friend Phyllis then asked, "Where's your friend from yesterday?"  I told her he was at home.  She nodded and replied, "Where'd you get that giant?" This made Kath and I laugh. Friend Phyllis smiled.  I like her.

I will be seeing Phyllis this weekend and again Memorial Day weekend.  I am going to have the bf come with me for a lunchtime visit with Phyll over Memorial Day because I think he will get a kick out of it.  Speaking of.  Memorial Day weekend is just a few weeks away.  CF and I talked on the phone for almost three hours last night.  She filled me in on her recent cold and said, "Oh. I have a cough injury."  She told me she has been using hot pads to alleviate the pain.  When she was in 7-11 buying a water she realized that all of her hot pads had fallen to the ground.  CF looked at them scattered on the floor. And ran out.  I wish I had been there.  I forgot to tell her about my missing eyebrow.  I wish I had because she'll know what to do. 

That's all for now bitches.  Be extra nice to the Kath's in your life on Sunday.