Prom and sex rehab

Gram called yesterday.  Under my mother's orders.  "MEREDITH. Your mother told me to call you."  I told her I was so glad to hear her voice and asked what she was doing.  She never disappoints, "Talking to you!" she replied.  We talked for 30 seconds when she told me she was going to hang up on me.  At least she warned me.  We will be taking Gram out to lunch this weekend and I cannot wait. Mom called me after Gram pulled the same trick.  I updated her with Webbie Debbie.'s fan count and told her about "LMVO".  She asked what it meant.  When I told her, she laughed, and said, "That's sick." And laughed again.  LMVO.  Maybe I will tell Gram what that means this weekend.

I came across an article today about the new trend for prom.  It's slutty chic. http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/beauty/slutty-chic-is-new-trend-for-prom-dresses-1237609/ If your daughter wears any of what is seen below, she will most likely sleep with Tiger Woods or Jesse James.

The thought of prom brought me back almost a decade to my prom experience.  Who enjoyed their prom?  I am curious.  Should I ever be with child, a female one at that, I am not going to tell her that she can't go to prom, unless she plans on wearing a "slutty chic" dress. (Fingers crossed my daughter isn't a whore.) But, I will tell her that it sucks.  It certainly wasn't anything John Hughes made it out to be. (Watch this video.  It made my day.)

First, my prom date was not Andrew McCarthy.  Swoon. I was a slightly deeper shade of orange than my dress (from tanning), I had brassy blond hair that puts me to shame and I went to a personal trainer.  To make things worse, I had fake french tips.  I was Lindsay Lohan with braces. I cringe at the memory.  My mom should have shot me.  That's drastic, but she should have at least made me look in a mirror.  A 115-pound girl going to a personal trainer.  To look her "best" in a prom dress.   My prom date and I could barely stomach each other. I vaguely remember telling him not to open his mouth at pictures so Kath wouldn't see his tongue ring.  Charming.  Surprisingly, I didn't drink before the prom, but I do remember wishing that I had.  In 17 years, I will be saying "Honey, don't go to prom.  But, if you do, drink."  I hope I made people think I was pregnant for a second.  April Fools if you're reading this tomorrow.  I learned something today. I have lofty goals as a mom.  Keeping my daughter from going to the prom and keeping my son out of sex rehab.