I have this big, fat face picture of you.

I called the main rehab line tonight.  Normally, I have to leave a message with a nurse for Gram to call me.  Once the nurse finds out that I am calling for Phyllis, the tone of their voice changes from Ben Stein-like to delight.  "Of course I will tell her you called!"  Tonight, however, Gram was at the nurse's station.  "She's right here, Meredith!"  Jackpot. "What are you doing?" I asked.  "Talking to you." she replied.  She told me she had just gotten back from getting a shot in her knee.  I asked if it hurt.  "Christ sakes.  Do you think it tickled?"  I told her she was in a smart-ass mood.  Speaking of smart-ass, here's video of Gram kind of being one: (You won't get the title of this post unless you watch the video.  The quote is in the beginning.)




Gram ended up telling me she had to go as she was leaning on the nurse's station and did not want to fall.  We said our goodbyes.  Five minutes later, she called me back.  "I decided to use this phone so we could have some privacy." she said. "When ya comin' home?" she asked.  I told her in a few weeks.  I have plans to go home with my cousin Karen Valentine's Day weekend.  We are going to babysit the twins and Alabama so Meaghan and Tony can go out.  I told Karen at least we would have dates and to pick a twin.  She said, "Whoever's easier."  I am going to call Meaghan that week to see who's having the best week behavior wise.  Then pick the opposite, because she will probably lie.  My parents like Karen more than me.  At least my mom does.  When I told Kath of our plans she said, "Oh, would you like it if your father and I came over and made you girls dinner?" I told her that would be great.  Last year my mom gave Karen and I Valentines Day gift bags.  Included in ourbags were "52 Really Romantic Dates"card decks.  We haven't had to use the cards.

I asked Gram where my letter was.  I have been expecting one for good reason:



It's clear that she did not mail the letter the following day.  "The letter is finished." she said. "I just have to put a stamp on it!"  I have a card to send Gram.  She rides a stationary bike for 15 minutes a day.  "Christ, it kills me!"  Gram said.  I figure she can use some encouragement.

I wrote in the card that she is stronger than Arnold Schwarzenegger.  She'll like that. Unlike Gram, I will actually send the card tomorrow. Maybe I should send the "52 Really Romantic Dates" deck of cards to her too.  Dominic would love Edible Art.  Don't say I am filthy, because my mom started it.