"Maybe with Lloyd."

I would like to start by wishing Gram a happy birthday.  I know she never, ever reads this and has completely forgotten about its existence, but I just wanted to say it on here.  For the record, her birthday is not today. It was yesterday.  In case you want to write that down on your calendar. 

I just returned to Boston yesterday afternoon from my Sesame Place vacation.  Last Monday, we all woke at 3:30 a.m. to leave for Langhorne, Pennsylvania.  The ride wasn't bad.  But, it was a long first day.  By the time we went to see "Elmo Live" I was done.  As seen below:

The only reason I would not go back to SP is because they don't serve booze.  That and I don't have children so that would be creepy as hell.  How is it possible that they don't serve alcohol?  I understand that it's a place for children, but parents (and aunts) should have some sort of fun outlet.  However, the kids had a blast.  Anthony bossed me around all week.  He is one of the few people in life that I allow to do so.  He is capable of walking, but if I was nearby, he would scream, "UP!"  I happily obliged.  He's quite cute and it was a good workout for my arms.  I told Tony I can't wait to have kids because my arms will be in killer shape.  He shook his head.  Anthony also forced me to color for what seemed like hours.  I stopped coloring for only a moment because Zia and I finally had alcohol and I needed to take Zantac.  I was about to swallow my pill when I heard, "TITI! COLOR!"  I calmly told him I was drinking and had to take my Zantac in order to prevent the blotches.  I also said, "It runs in the family.  Hopefully this doesn't happen to you.  It sucks."  He replied, "Sucks."  Swearing runs in the family, too.

We returned from Sesame Place on Thursday night.  I was booked on Saturday for Maid of Honor duties, so Kath brought me to rehab at lunchtime on Friday so I could visit with Gram.  We brought her lunch from Panera since she hates the food at rehab so much. I was lucky enough to have lunch with the biddies again.  I found out that "Edna" is actually named Roberta.  Every four minutes she would ask, "Is that your grandmother?"  I would always enthusiastically reply, "Yes! She's the best."  Roberta would smile and sip her juice at my response.  I asked Gram if she had any boyfriends, and Nurse Edneida said, "Mmhmm.  Lloyd.  She is always stealing cookies for him."  Gram laughed and asked if she was turning red.  She was.  I am so happy she has a crush.  A few minutes later I asked Gram if she would sleep later.  She said, "Yes.  Maybe with Lloyd."  Phyllis can be so fresh.  Lunch was coming to an end and Roberta said she was sad to leave such an entertaining bunch.  I know she won't remember me when I see her next, but I can't wait to tell her what a wonderful grandmother I have.

After lunch, Gram ordered me to push her around.  She's just like my nephew, but older. Gram had physical therapy with John and I stayed for that.  I am hoping next time I get to see Gram Wii bowl.  Lloyd was bowling.  And swearing.  They are a perfect match.  Kath came to pick me up and I brought Gram to her room so she could rest.  No word on whether she had a napping partner.  I had my sister call me yesterday when they visited Gram so I could sing "Happy Birthday" to Phyl.  She was happy to hear from me.  So happy, that she sang "Happy Birthday" in return.  I wasn't expecting that.  To remind you of Gram's rendition:

In other news, the dress fitting went well on Saturday.  It was LOOSE this time, not SNUG.  I still think I need to tone up as the Bridezilla made a fat face at me when I was getting measured.  Isn't she awful?  I obviously joke.  If every bride-to-be could be like Meggie, the world would be a better place.  That should go in my speech.

  

By Sunday, I was anxious to return to Boston.  I just wanted to be in my own room and I wanted to watch the Real Housewives of NY Reunion on my DVR.  Of course, my dad had to bring me to the bus station.  It reminded me of high school.  I was young for my grade and took the bus all four years.  Rock star. Kerry would bring me home, but she couldn't wake up in the morning to pick me up.  (The rides home and the scrunchie ban probably saved my life).  Anyway, the bus stop was just a short walk from home.  However, Bill Lang insisted on driving me to the bus stop every morning.  Apparently, it was not embarrassing enough that I had to take the big yellow bitch.  Even  now, when he dropped me off at the bus station, he waited until I was at the door to go inside  the station before driving away.  I guess I should thank him since I was never kidnapped. 

I hope this girl eventually has a Kerry in her life.